Orgasm scenes in movies are almost always hilarious, so let’s dubstep supercut a bunch together and ride the pleasure wave. The latest montage from the geniuses of Eclectic Method fuses together climaxes from movies as diverse as Barbarella and Bruce Almighty into a hilarious and strangely arousing melange of ecstasy. If you’re going to watch this at work, turn your speakers up and go out like a champion.

With news that John Mayer got his feelings hurt by the Taylor Swift song “Dear John” plus his album Born and Raised
 being #1, now’s a good time to take a look back at his dating history. As you will see, if there’s one thing you can say about Mayer (and Swift should have seen this as well) he’s consistent, not staying with any of his girlfriends for more than two calendar years.

Vanessa Carlton (2002-2003)

Her debut single, “A Thousand Miles”, reached the top five on the charts right around the time Mayer dated her. Then he reportedly wrote a suggestive song about her after they broke up. Classy.

Jennifer Love Hewitt (2002)

Another one that got away from J-Love; Mayer joined the esteemed list of famous men who wouldn’t take her to the alter.

Rhona Mitra (2005)

The second Party of Five actress to make this list. We’re still waiting for him to hook up with Neve Campbell and Lacey Chabert, but I’m sure he’ll get around to it.

Jessica Simpson (2006-2007)

Simpson inspired this legendary quote from Mayer: “Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me. Sexually it was crazy. That’s all I’ll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm.”

Minka Kelly (2007-2008)

Kelly and Mayer dated briefly and are still supposedly friends. Boring.

Jennifer Aniston (2008-2009)

And yet another legendary quote from Mayer: “If Jennifer Aniston knows how to use BitTorrent, I’ll eat my fucking shoe. … The brunt of her success came before TMZ and Twitter. I think she’s still hoping it goes back to 1998.”

Taylor Swift (2009-2010)

Apparently this didn’t end well.

Other less-substantiated alleged flings…

Colbie Caillat, Miley Cyrus, Cameron Diaz, Ricki Lake, Kim Kardashian, Ke$ha, Holly Williams

Photo credit: YouTube/Vevo

When it comes to discussing the legendary ladies men in Hollywood Gerard Butler’s name is always one of the first to pop up. And rightfully so as we’d put the quality of the female celebrities he’s allegedly hooked with up against just about any other man out there except for Leonardo DiCaprio. (No one is ever going to touch what he’s accomplished.)

Rosario Dawson (2007)

Dawson and Butler appeared to be very close as the two of made the rounds promoting their film 300. Nothing was ever 100% confirmed though.

Naomi Campbell (2007)

Butler and Campbell were spotted together in New York on several occasions right after she fulfilled her community service for throwing a cell phone at her assistant.

Shanna Moakler (2008, 2009)

Gerard denied that the two of them were an item, right around the same time that he denied reports that he was dating Jennifer Aniston.

Jennifer Aniston (2009-2010)

After working on the film The Bounty Hunter together Butler joined the ever-growing list of men to hook up with Jennifer Aniston without taking her to altar.

Lindsay Lohan (2009, 2012)

Butler and Lohan (16 years younger than Gerard) were busted kissing at a party in Morocco. Note: He was dating Jennifer Aniston at the time. In 2012, the two spent some quality time together at Chateau Marmont and then LiLo said that she wanted Butler to play Richard Burton in the Liz Taylor movie she’s shooting. Coincidence?

Jessica Biel (2011)

Biel and Butler were very close when they were shooting the film Playing the Field together, as they were spotted dining together and taking rides on Butler’s motorcycle.

Brandi Glanville (2011)

Glanville was spotted making out with Butler not long after her divorce from Eddie Cibrian. She later claimed that they had “mind-blowing sex” to which he responded, “Who’s Brandi Glanville?”

Ashley Greene (2011)

According to reports, Butler (17 years Greene’s senior) ordered a drink for Ashley and even put a hand on her butt while the two of them spent some time at the Boom Boom Room in New York City.

Other less-substantiated alleged flings…

Sarah Carroll, Josie D’Arby, Cameron Diaz, Cassandra Hepburn, Katy Perry

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Previous hookup histories on Guyism.

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Oh sure, now he’s all tied down with Angelina Jolie and her brood, but it wasn’t always that way for former Sexiest Man in the World, Brad Pitt. At several points along the way he was the most eligible bachelor in the world, and he took advantage. But where does his alleged dating history rank him amongst the greats? Read on to find out.


Photo: YouTube

Robin Givens (1986-1987)

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Seeing Givens with Pitt turned Mike Tyson from a hardcore tough guy to a fly on the wall. “It just totally overwhelmed me,” said Tyson, “I had no energy to fight.”

Hookup score: 8.5
An extra half a point for being so cool that even Mike Tyson had to stand down.


Photo: YouTube

Christina Applegate (1989)

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Dated briefly during her early run on Married With Children. Just two kids having a good time.

Hookup score: 10.0
Wouldn’t be a 10 now, but during year two of MWC? Brad was The Man.


Photo: YouTube

Juliette Lewis (1991-1993)

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Pitt and Lewis worked together on Too Young to Die? and Kalifornia. She was 10 years younger than him. He was 26. She later claimed he has a tiny penis.

Hookup score: 6.5
She was pretty famous and all, but damn, the tiny penis thing….that’s not good.


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Thandie Newton (1994)

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Newton and Pitt met on the set of Interview with a Vampire. (Beginning to see a trend developing?) Not much fun happened here. Moving on.

Hookup score: 8.5
Strong rebound effort.


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Gwyneth Paltrow (1994-1997)

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Paltrow was his co-star in the movie Seven. (Did I mention a trend?) They even went so far as to get engaged, but as we all know it didn’t last. Perhaps one of the seven deadly sins reared it’s ugly head and caused the break-up.

Hookup score: 8.5
Almost three years with Gwyneth Paltrow. That’s gotta earn him half a bonus point.


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Demi Moore (1998)

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Reportedly spent time together in the waning days of Demi and Bruce Willis’ marriage.

Hookup score: 9.0
This would have been easily as fun to watch as Demi and Ashton if only it had lasted.


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Jennifer Aniston (1998-2005)

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We’re all very well-versed in this one, right? They dated for two years, got married, were the ideal Hollywood couple. Five years later she filed for divorce. That’s right. She filed.

Hookup score: 10.0
They did look really pretty together.


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Angelina Jolie (2005-Present)

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Surely you know how these two met, right? Why, she was his co-star in the film Mr. & Mrs. Smith! Of course she was. Three months after Pitt and Aniston’s divorce was finalized Jolie announced she was pregnant. Perhaps now we know why Jennifer filed those papers.

Hookup score: 10.0
Brad went from being a part of the perfect Hollywood couple with one woman directly to the same title with another one. Well done, sir.

Other less-substantiated alleged flings: Elizabeth Daily, Geena Davis, Claire Forlani

Photo: YouTube

Final Tally

Brad Pitt’s Hookup Score: 71 points

That puts Brad in a tie for the 12th spot. And we had such high hopes for him during the early years. Too many engagements and marriages weighed the score down though.

1. Leonardo DiCaprio – 187 points

2. Jack Nicholson – 163

3. Charlie Sheen – 136

4. George Clooney – 93

5. Josh Hartnett – 91

6. Justin Timberlake – 82

7. Orlando Bloom – 81

8. Derek Jeter – 80

9. Joe Jonas – 77

10. Ryan Reynolds – 75

11. Ryan Gosling – 72

12t. Kanye West – 71

12t. Brad Pitt – 71

14t. Colin Farrell – 70

14t. Adam Levine – 70

16. Sean Penn – 69

17. Johnny Depp – 67

18. Jake Gyllenhaal – 66

19t. Alexander Skarsgard – 62

19t. Wilmer Valderrama – 62

19t. Gerard Butler – 62

22. John Mayer – 60

23. Bradley Cooper – 57

24. Edward Norton – 51

(Photos: Aniston, Applegate, Givens, Jolie, Lewis, Moore, Newton, Paltrow, Pitt)

Jennifer Aniston appeared on Chelsea Lately last night and it turned out about as great as one would have predicted as the discussion somehow turned to Aniston’s nipples. Of course it was Chelsea who wasted no time in bringing them up, much to Aniston’s embarassment. Of course, Chelsea was just stating the obvious, as you will see, much to the delight of the audience. Aniston does disappoint on one count though, informing us that she won’t be fully nude in her new movie, We’re the Millers. Can’t win them all, I guess.

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We’ve spent a lot of time chronicling the dating histories of actors and sports stars, but haven’t delved too deeply into musicians so today I thought we’d take a look at Counting Crows frontman Adam Duritz’s impressive list of alleged girlfriends. Growing up it always seemed that sports stars and musicians always got the women, but is that the case with Adam? And how does he compare with all the actors and athletes we’ve profiled? Read on to find out.

Photo credit: YouTube/Counting Crows

Monica Potter (Date unclear)

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YouTube/NBC

Probably happened around 2000 since the song he wrote called “Mrs. Potter’s Lullaby” was about her and was released in 1999.

Hookup score: 9.0
Bonus points for getting a date with a beautiful actress in this manner.

Photo credit: YouTube/NBC

Winona Ryder (1994-1995)

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YouTube/Lionsgate

Research on this one ranges from him saying they never dated to them dating for about a year. Thanks a lot, Internet.

Hookup score: 8.5
This was pretty much at the height of her career so a bonus half a point.

Photo credit: YouTube/Lionsgate

Jennifer Aniston (1995)

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YouTube/Warner Bros.

Pretty darn sure these two actually dated although Duritz has been quoted as saying that they “never even slept together” so it must not have lasted too long.

Hookup score: 9.0
Would have been higher if not for, you know, the fact that he admitted not sleeping with her.

Photo credit: YouTube/Warner Bros.

Courteney Cox (1997)

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YouTube/ABC

Friends star #2!! Duritz and Cox dated after she appeared in his group’s video for the song “A Long December.”

Hookup score: 9.0
I guess if you don’t sleep with one of them it’s okay to date the other.

Photo credit: YouTube/ABC

Mary-Louise Parker (1997-1998)

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YouTube/Showtime

This might have happened in 1996-1997 (like that matters), but it did happen and the two remain good friends.

Hookup score: 8.5
She wasn’t nearly as famous as she is now, but still, not bad.

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Samantha Mathis (2004-2005)

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YouTube/Atlas Dist. Co.

Long gap between famous ladies here for some reason, ending with the woman made famous by the film Pump Up the Volume.

Hookup score: 8.0
Again, not much information on this relationship and between 2000 and 2004 she didn’t make a single film.

Photo credit: YouTube/Atlas Dist. Co.

Emmy Rossum (2009-2010)

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YouTube/Showtime

He was 45 year-old Adam Duritz and she was 23 year-old Emmy Rossum. ‘Nuff said.

Hookup score: 10.0
See above.

Other less-substantiated alleged flings: Christina Applegate, Trishelle Cannatella, Lara Flynn Boyle, Gwen Stefani

Photo credit: YouTube/Showtime

Final Tally

Adam Duritz’s Hookup Score: 62 points

Not bad. Somewhat inexplicable, but not bad. If only we could have confirmed some of those less-substantiated flings… (and he not admitted to no sex with Jennifer).

1. Leonardo DiCaprio – 187 points

2. Jack Nicholson – 163

3. Charlie Sheen – 136

4. George Clooney – 93

5. Josh Hartnett – 91

6. Chris Evans – 83.5

7. Justin Timberlake – 82

8. Orlando Bloom – 81

9. Derek Jeter – 80

10. Joe Jonas – 77

11. Ryan Reynolds – 75

12. Ryan Gosling – 72

13t. Kanye West – 71

13t. Brad Pitt – 71

13t. Jude Law – 71

16t. Colin Farrell – 70

16t. Adam Levine – 70

18. Sean Penn – 69

19. Johnny Depp – 67

20. Jake Gyllenhaal – 66

21. Mark Sanchez – 64

22t. Adam Duritz -62

22t. Alexander Skarsgard – 62

22t. Wilmer Valderrama – 62

22t. Gerard Butler – 62

26. Criss Angel – 61

27. John Mayer – 60

28. Bradley Cooper – 57

29. Alex Rodriguez – 53

30. Robert Downey, Jr. – 51.5

31. Edward Norton – 51

There are basically two ways to A-List fame in this great country of ours – either work really hard and be super-talented and make movies that lots of people want to see or let someone film you getting pissed on. Shockingly, we’re here today to discuss the former, those A-List souls who have a reputation for being big time movie stars of the non-pissing variety. Only, we’re doing it with a little twist. The A-List superstars on this list all have one thing in common: they rake in tens of millions of dollars and bask in the glow of fame even though most of their movies suck and nobody bothers to go see them. Why are they famous then? Well, some are desperately clinging to the fame they earned decades ago while others, well, it’s a mystery really. But let us not quibble over reasons. Instead, let us point fingers and condemn them, for they are the most overrated and overpaid movie stars of them all.

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8 Robin Williams

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YouTube/Magnolia Pictures

When’s the last time Robin Williams was the lead in a movie anybody actually watched and enjoyed? Think really hard. You can’t tell me, can you? That’s because Robin Williams hasn’t made anything that anyone has watched in a decade. He’s always been a dude whose movies have run the gamut from Oscar bait to hideously awful, but lately he seems to have forgotten about the Oscar part. The low point for Robin Williams was probably 1999’s Bicentennial Man. It wasn’t the biggest bomb on his less than impressive filmography, but here’s what sets it apart – Robin Williams was paid twenty million dollars for that turd. Twenty million dollars for Bicentennial Man! In the end, the movie never even made back its budget and while Williams has largely been exiled from the land of leading men ever since – and rightly so – he still enjoys a reputation as an A-List star. But here are his last five movies: Happy Feet 2, Old Dogs, Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, World’s Greatest Dad and Shrink. I haven’t even heard of a couple of those and I’ve watched exactly zero of the rest. At this point he’s basically Danny DeVito with better press. Actually, that’s not fair to Danny DeVito.

Photo credit: YouTube/Magnolia Pictures

7 Nicolas Cage

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YouTube/Millennium Entertainment

To be fair, Nicolas Cage is just as well known for making terrible movies as he is for anything else these days, but that still doesn’t stop people from giving him piles of money to make them. The most egregious example of this came just this past year when he was paid twelve million dollars to star in Seeking Justice. You all know Seeking Justice, right? What’s that? You’ve never heard of it? But how can that be? After all, it stars A-List superstar Nicolas Cage! You just must not see a lot of movies because it made… oh, oh Jesus. It only made $390,000? Where are the rest of the zeroes? $390,000! That’s it! Look, that’s the sort of thing that winds up with an executive living on the street, dumpster diving, while his business partner ends up buried in the Las Vegas desert. Nicolas Cage pretty much robbed that studio. He stole from them. Sure, he occasionally sprinkles in a blockbuster that people actually go see like National Treasure (which is the only thing keeping him from being higher on this list) and the kids go wild but for the most part his movie choices look a lot more like Seeking Justice or Stolen or Trespass or Season of the Witch or… I think you get the point.

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6 Al Pacino

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I know, I know, it’s sacrilege to put a legend like Al Pacino on this list but the facts don’t lie, dudes and lady dudes. Like Robin Williams, Pacino hasn’t made a movie anyone has wanted to see in years. The only exception was his piggybacking on the success of Clooney, Pitt, Damon and company with his appearance in Ocean’s Thirteen. Aside from that? Nothing. Righteous Kill, 88 Minutes, Two For the Money… the list of crap goes on and on. Hell, he even showed up in Gigli. That is not the sort of filmography befitting a legend. The worst example of Pacino’s shameless profiteering off of his once golden name is probably 2002’s dud S1m0ne, for which he was paid eleven million dollars. The movie made nine million dollars. Yeah. I’m just glad Fredo didn’t have to live to see what became of his kid brother.

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5 Sean Penn

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Sean Penn is kind of a weird case because most of his movies rank pretty high on the respectability scale. He’s constantly nominated for awards and he is undoubtedly one of Hollywood’s alpha dogs. So what in the hell is he doing on this list? Well, the thing is, is that, well, nobody actually watches any of his movies. That’s kind of an important ingredient in the A-List recipe, you know? Don’t believe me? Fine. Take a look at this – for his career, Penn’s movies have averaged a gross of $16,218,072. To put that in perspective, that ranks Penn 1,718th on the all-time list of average box-office success. I’m not joking. That’s a real number, I looked it up like a responsible writer and everything. That’s… that’s horrible. To put that in further perspective, Chris Penn, Sean’s less successful and, uh, deader brother, ranks 1,493rd. That’s right, Chris Penn has a higher average box office gross than Sean. Other names ahead of him on that list? Tom Arnold and, wait for it… Pauly freakin’ Shore. Now, I know money isn’t everything, but Sean Penn is an A-List star and he gets paid like one even though Pauly Shore of all people has historically been a bigger draw. The only reason he isn’t number one on this list is because his critical acclaim saves him, because the money part, well… Pauly Shore! Jesus.

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4 Jennifer Aniston

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Jennifer Aniston is really, really famous and for the past decade or so she has hauled in somewhere between eight to ten million dollars for every movie she’s made. What I want you to do is stop and think about all the hit movies she’s made in that time. I’ll wait, but not too long because honestly, I’ll be waiting forever before you actually come up with one. I guess Horrible Bosses was kinda funny and… and… look, that’s all I’ve got. And that role was damn near a cameo. It is mystifying why Jennifer Aniston not only continues to land roles given her track record but that studios actually pay her like one of the biggest, most successful stars in the world. Yeah, yeah, I know Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie sullied her honor and the tabloids love her but nobody actually pays genuine paper money to see her do anything. Look, the reality is this: she was a successful sitcom actress and that’s about it. That sitcom ended eight years ago. She is basically Kirstie Alley, only she gets paid like she’s, well, Angelina Jolie.

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3 Jude Law

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Jude Law is considered an A-List leading man. He’s certainly paid like one, like Aniston raking in somewhere between eight to ten million dollars every time he makes a movie. Here’s the problem – he’s never – NEVER – actually been the leading man in a movie that’s been a hit. Sure, he’s played second fiddle in the Sherlock Holmes movies but for ten million dollars, you kinda expect to get someone who can carry a film, which Jude Law never has. Not once. I guess The Holiday sort of counts but even that was sold as a Cameron Diaz/Kate Winslet vehicle. Seriously, look at his filmography. There’s nothing there. Maybe a bit part here or there in something people have actually seen, like The Aviator, but nothing that was sold as being a Jude Law flick. Nothing even remotely successful anyway. So you tell me why he’s paid like he’s Matt Damon or one of those dudes because I honestly don’t have a clue.

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2 Nicole Kidman

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YouTube/Fox Searchlight

I’m just going to list some figures here and let them speak for themselves, because, honestly, they don’t just speak, they scream that Nicole Kidman is hilariously overpaid and overrated – for Australia, she was paid thirteen million dollars. The movie made fourteen million dollars in the U.S. For The Invasion she was paid more than sixteen million dollars, for The Golden Compass fifteen million dollars, for The Interpreter fifteen million dollars, another fifteen million for Birth and then fifteen million more for The Stepford Wives. And to top it all off, for Bewitched she was paid more than seventeen million dollars. Either she’s got the most powerful agent in the world or she actually is a witch.

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1 Eddie Murphy

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Poor Eddie. Like anyone else could be number one on this list. After all, this sort of shit is basically what Eddie Murphy is known for now. He gets paid dump-trucks full of money and gold bullion to star in hilariously awful movies that nobody ever goes to see. A Thousand Words, Meet Dave, Imagine That, Norbit… I could go on forever. But all you really need to know about how big of a money suck Eddie Murphy is relative to the size of his fame is that he was paid that magical megastar salary of twenty million dollars to star in… The Adventures of Pluto Nash. Let that knowledge penetrate the deepest, darkest places of your brain and then try to argue that anyone else should be number one on this list. You can’t and so here he is.

Photo credit: YouTube/Paramount

Jimmy Kimmel’s first show in the 11:35 time slot featured Jennifer Aniston in a tight outfit wielding a large sledgehammer. If you’re wondering what Aniston’s life was like after Brad dumped her for Angelina, here’s a brief glimpse.

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By the way, Aniston’s 43 and is lucky she didn’t throw out her back. Still quite lovely despite the whole old, crazy thing.

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Wait, what? Brooklyn Decker was intimidated by Jennifer Aniston’s body? What year is it? Where am I? According to Brooklyn, when she and Jennifer Aniston worked together on the set of the comedy film Just Go With It she was so “awestruck” by Aniston’s body she was too scared to exercise with her. The woman in the orange bikini above? Are we sure we aren’t talking about a different Brooklyn Decker?

“I was invited to do yoga with her on set but they had so many good yogis I was intimidated and chickened out.”

Seriously, she said these things in the new issue of Women’s Health UK. I’m so confused about life now.

First off, here’s what Brooklyn Decker says she was intimidated by… in GIF Form (in case the smoking hot video above wasn’t enough):

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Okay now we need to do some comparing and contrasting to see if what Brooklyn Decker said has any kernels of truth. Scroll back up and click on so we can see who really has the “most intimidating body” between these two women.

‘I was too scared to do yoga with Jennifer!’ Brooklyn Decker on Ms Aniston’s intimidatingly perfect body [Daily Mail]

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Yeah… I still don’t get it.

Oh the 1990′s. What are you known for? Yuppies? Grunge? Slick Willy in the White House? Giant cell phones? How about lots of beautiful women? Yes, let’s remember the decade that way with our top 90 female celebrity crushes of the 1990′s.

When you’re done here be sure to check out the Top 80 Female Celebrity Crushes of the 1980s too!

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90 Claire Forlani

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We first noticed Claire Forlani when she played Sean Connery’s daughter in the film The Rock in 1996, but it was in Meet Joe Black with Brad Pitt in 1998 that she earned a permanent spot on our radar.

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89 Jennifer Tilly

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The curvaceous Jennifer Tilly jumped out of the shadow of her more famous sister Meg after acting in the controversial film Bound in 1996. She followed that up with an appearance in Liar Liar and even lent her voice to the starring puppet in Bride of Chucky, forever earning a place in our heart.

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88 Carla Gugino

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Carla Gugino image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Carla Gugino first landed on our radar with her crazy hot portrayal of Meg Harris in Jaded in 1996. After that we were smitten and only wanted more. Luckily for us, she followed that up with a role as Michael J. Fox’s love interest on the TV series Spin City in the same year. A role in the Nic Cage film Snake Eyes coupled with her appearing on the TV drama Chicago Hope from 1999 to 2000 and we were locked in as big fans.

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87 Madchen Amick

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Madchen Amick is a name you may not remember, but she was one of the several sexy female stars on the cult hit Twin Peaks from 1990 to 1991. Then again, maybe you will recall her being on Central Park West from 1995 to 1996, or Fantasy Island from 1998 to 1999? No matter what show you saw her on, if you saw her, you most certainly haven’t forgotten her.

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86 Jennifer Connelly

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Jennifer Connelly first caught our attention in The Rocketeer in 1991. Four years later she appeared in Higher Learning and we were even more interested. But it was in Mulholland Falls in 1996 that she became burned in our memories.

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85 Diane Lane

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We were already fans of Diane Lane by the time the 90′s rolled around, but appearances in Chaplin, Judge Dredd, Murder at 1600, and A Walk on the Moon garnered her status of one of our all-time faves.

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84 Lucy Liu

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The first time we really noticed Lucy Liu was in 1996 when she showed up in Jerry Maguire, but it was as the badass criminal in Payback and her role on Ally McBeal from 1998 to 2002 that made sure that we’d never forget her.

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83 Marisa Tomei

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Marisa Tomei won an Academy Award for her role in My Cousin Vinny in 1992, then won our hearts acting alongside Christian Slater in Untamed Heart.

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82 Rebecca Gayheart

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Rebecca Gayheart first gained our attention in the sci-fi TV series Earth 2 in 1994, but it was her portrayal of Toni Marchette, Dylan’s girlfriend and eventual wife on Beverly Hills, 90210 in 1995 that made us want more. Especially after she was killed the day after the wedding. Luckily, we were still able to watch Rebecca in Scream 2, Urban Legend, and the TV series Wasteland.

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81 Liv Tyler

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Who that saw it will ever forget the music video for the 1993 Aerosmith song “Crazy?” It featured two young ladies who would go on to become big stars, Liv Tyler and Alicia Silverstone, being very, very naughty. Liv went on to star in Empire Records and Stealing Beauty, That Thing You Do!, and Armageddon in the 1990′s, solidifying her status as more than just Steven Tyler’s sexy offspring.

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80 Mira Sorvino

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Mira Sorvino first hit our radar in 1995 when she won the Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for her role in the film Mighty Aphrodite. The films Norma Jean & Marilyn and Beautiful Girls, as well as Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion made sure we wouldn’t soon forget her.

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79 Victoria Beckham

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“Tell me what you want, what you really, really want.” In 1996, “Girl Power” became a part of the international lexicon and the Spice Girls were what we wanted. Two albums, Spice and Spiceworld, plus a feature film Spice World, and Posh Spice quickly became one of our favorite singers.

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78 Gwen Stefani

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A few years before the Spice Girls came along (in 1992) we were treated to another sexy female singer’s worldwide debut when the group No Doubt released their self-titled album and our long-time attraction to Gwen Stefani was set in motion.

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77 Rachel Hunter

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In 1989 a model from New Zealand named Rachel Hunter caught our eye when she posed for the annual Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, eventually landing on the cover in 1994. She also caught the eye of singer Rod Stewart who married her in 1990, despite being 24 years older than her.

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76 Jewel

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Jewel Kilcher hit the scene in 1995 with her debut album Pieces of You. Her subsequent followup album Spirit in 1998 and the accompanying music videos for both on MTV (yes, MTV used to show music videos) made sure she would never be forgotten.

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75 Kate Moss

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Kate Moss introduced the world to the “heroin chic look” as she was featured in a sexy ad campaign for Calvin Klein in 1993. We were fascinated and so was Johnny Depp who dated Moss from 1994 to 1998.

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74 Jasmine Guy

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Jasmine Guy was our favorite reason to tune in to The Cosby Show spinoff A Different World from 1987 to 1993.

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73 Victoria Silvstedt

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Victoria Silvstedt was the December 1996 Playboy Playmate of the Month and then the 1997 Playmate of the Year. As if that wasn’t enough to get our attention she then signed on to succeed Claudia Schiffer and Anna Nicole Smith as the trademark buxom blonde spokesmodel for Guess? appearing in numerous iconic and very sexy advertisements.

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72 Danielle Fishel

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For the better part of seven years (1993 to 2000) Danielle Fishel played Topanga Lawrence on the sitcom Boy Meets World during ABC’s TGIF lineup on Friday nights making us wish that we were Cory Matthews and not Ben Savage.

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71 Catherine Zeta-Jones

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The first time we noticed Catherine Zeta-Jones was when she played the femme fatale Sala in The Phantom in 1996, but it was two other roles in the 1990′s, Elena Montero in The Mask of Zorro and Virginia Baker in Entrapment with Sean Connery, that ensured that we would be intrigued by her well into the 21st century.

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70 Elizabeth Berkley

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Jesse Spano of Saved by the Bell was one of our favorite TV characters of the early 1990′s, but when the show went off the air in 1993 we wondered where we would see Elizabeth Berkley next? Turns out it was in the film Showgirls in 1995 and she was completely naked for a good portion of the movie. We did not see that one coming.

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69 Madonna

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In the 1990′s Madonna put out three original albums, appeared in the films A League of Their Own and Evita, and released a book filled with nude photos of her titled Sex that sold 1.5 million copies at $50 each. Needless to say we were big fans at the time.

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68 Stacey Dash

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Stacey Dash charmed and entranced us with her role as Dionne Davenport in the film Clueless in 1995. Luckily for us they made a TV show based on the film that aired from 1996 to 1999 so we wouldn’t have to stop feeling that way about her and her character.

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67 Meg Ryan

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When Harry Met Sally… in 1989 really put Meg Ryan on the map, but following that up in the 1990′s with The Doors, Sleepless in Seattle, When a Man Loves a Woman, plus City of Angels and You’ve Got Mail, solidified her place as an actress we always made a special effort to see during the decade.

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66 Julia Louis-Dreyfus

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Who here didn’t secretly have a big crush on Seinfeld’s Elaine Benes from 1989 to 1998? Anyone? She was both the girl you wanted to hang out with and the girl you wanted to date. Even if she was about as shallow as a kiddie pool, we still wanted to be her Mimbo.

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65 Mariah Carey

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Mariah Carey busted onto the scene with her self-titled debut album in 1990. Rarely before had we seen such an attractive young woman with such a powerful and melodic voice combined together in one amazing package. Six more albums in the decade made sure that she was never far from our mind.

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64 Shannen Doherty

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Beginning with her role as Heather Duke in the film Heathers in 1989 Shannen Doherty intrigued us with her ability to play the bad girl. Four years as Brenda Walsh on Beverly Hills, 90210 solidified that intrigue. Unfortunately we had to wait until 1998 to see her on TV again when she starred on Charmed with another name further down this list.

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63 Cameron Diaz

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Cameron Diaz blew us away when we saw her play Tina Carlyle in the 1994 film The Mask alongside Jim Carrey, but it wasn’t until the film There’s Something About Mary in 1998 did she become a true household name. By the time she played Christina Pagniacci in Any Given Sunday we were hooked.

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62 Jenna Jameson

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Jenna Jameson became an adult film star in 1994. She went on to win 11 AVN Awards in the 1990′s, founded ClubJenna in 2000, and in the process became arguably the most famous adult film actress in the history of the business. Needless to say, she caught our attention.

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61 Uma Thurman

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Uma Thurman began to make us curious about her in the 1988 film Dangerous Liaisons, but in 1994, playing Mia Wallace in Pulp Fiction, Uma started to become an actress we sought out. Luckily for us she also starred in Beautiful Girls, Batman & Robin, and The Avengers in the 90′s so we didn’t have to look far.

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60 Kate Winslet

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Do we really need to tell you why we were so fascinated by Kate Winslet in the 1990′s? For her role in Sense and Sensibility, of course! Just kidding, it was a tiny little film called Titanic. You may have heard of it.

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59 Bridget Fonda

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Bridget Fonda, daughter of Peter Fonda, was a part of 26 films in the 1990′s. Think about that for a second. 26 films – in one decade. Our favorites were Single White Female, Point of No Return, Jackie Brown, and Finding Graceland. Unfortunately she must have shot her wad in the decade because she hasn’t appeared in a single acting role on TV or film since 2002.

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58 Jennie Garth

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Jennie Garth was one of the “three Kellys” triumvirate of crushes in the 1990′s when she played Kelly Taylor on Beverly Hills, 90210 for the entire decade. She also threw in a few appearances on Melrose Place in 1992 to make our Monday nights even more complete for awhile.

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57 Ashley Judd

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Ashley Judd went from just being Naomi Judd’s daughter to being an actress we really wanted to see after she appeared in Norma Jean & Marilyn in 1996. If you’ve ever seen the movie you know exactly why that is.

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56 Nikki Cox

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Hard to believe that Nikki Cox is only 34 years-old because her show Unhappily Ever After aired from 1995 to 1999, which put her right in the wheelhouse for young men across the nation. She even almost made The Norm Show watchable for a couple of years.

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55 Joey Lauren Adams

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The 90′s queen of the View Askewniverse, Joey Lauren Adams and her raspy voice made her one of our favorite actresses as she appeared in Dazed and Confused, Mallrats, Chasing Amy and Big Daddy throughout the 1990′s. (Especially in Chasing Amy.)

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54 Sherilyn Fenn

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Anyone that was lucky enough to catch Sherilyn Fenn in Two Moon Junction in 1988 was thrilled to see her appear in this new TV series Twin Peaks in 1990. Unfortunately that only lasted a year, but she did do the controversial Boxing Helena as well as play Liz Taylor in a TV miniseries to help remind us of her ridiculously hot pictorial for Playboy in December of 1990.

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53 Vivica A. Fox

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Vivica A. Fox jumped off the screen as Will Smith’s love interest in the 1996 film Independence Day. Then she cracked us up as Jamie Foxx’s love interest in Booty Call in 1997. By that point we simply couldn’t get enough Vivica A. in our lives.

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52 Halle Berry

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Back in the 1990′s Halle Berry wasn’t the big star she is today, but we could see it coming. Appearances in the films like Jungle Fever, The Last Boy Scout, Boomerang, The Flintstones, and Bulworth made that obvious. She also married to Braves outfielder David Justice in 1992, which got everyone’s attention. Sadly, they divorced in 1997.

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51 Melissa Joan Hart

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Young men of America hated to admit it, but there was actually a reason to watch a couple of shows more targeted towards girls than boys in the 1990′s as Melissa Joan Hart starred in Clarissa Explains It All and Sabrina the Teenage Witch for almost the entire decade.

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50 Fran Drescher

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Fran Drescher was every male’s favorite nanny for six years in the 1990′s. And not just because we previously saw her topless in the 1990 film Cadillac Man. Okay, maybe that was part of the reason.

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49 Christy Turlington

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Christy Turlington was a sexy staple of Calvin Klein ad campaigns for 20 years beginning in 1987. She was one of the most recognizable models of the 1990′s, which is a reason why she joined Naomi Campbell, Elle Macpherson, and Claudia Schiffer in the ill-fated Fashion Cafe venture. Her appearance in George Michael’s “Freedom ’90″ music video is also a reason we still have fond memories of that decade.

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48 Winona Ryder

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Winona Ryder was already on our radar after playing Veronica Sawyer in the 1988 film Heathers, but it was in the 1990′s that Winona really shot to stardoom with roles in Girl, Interrupted, Alien Resurrection, Reality Bites, Dracula, Mermaids, and Edward Scissorhands.

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47 Lara Flynn Boyle

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Lara Flynn Boyle first came to our attention as one of the many fine females working on the show Twin Peaks in 1990 and 1991. Sadly the show didn’t last, but we still were able to catch her in films like Wayne’s World and The Temp, as well as on the TV drama The Practice from 1997 to 2003.

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46 Salma Hayek

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Salma Hayek busted on to the scene with her smoking hot role alongside Antonio Banderas in the 1995 film Desperado. She followed that up with an equally sexy appearance in the 1996 film From Dusk Till Dawn and we’ve been smitten ever since.

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45 Lori Loughlin

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The ONLY reason a guy would tune in to Full House between 1988 and 1995 was one Lori Loughlin. She was a demographics buster on that show. Then when the show ended we suddenly became fans of the show Hudson Street for a couple of years where she almost made Tony Danza an afterthought.

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44 Tyra Banks

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Tyra Banks was a Victoria’s Secret Angel from 1997 to 2005 and the first African American woman to grace the covers of GQ, the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue, and the Victoria’s Secret catalog. Pretty easy to see why we were huge fans of hers in the 1990′s.

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43 Sarah Michelle Gellar

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Buffy the Freaking Vampire Slayer, baby. Toss in I Know What You Did Last Summer, Scream 2, and Cruel Intentions and you’ve got a full-fledged Sarah Michelle fanboy on your hands.

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42 Laetitia Casta

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French modeling legend Laetitia Casta was another one of those smoking hot GUESS? Girls in the 1990′s. Please tell me you remember or at least know about those seriously sexy ads? Then she became a Victoria’s Secret Angel in 1998 and the rest is history.

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41 Geri Halliwell

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Why is Geri Halliwell, aka Ginger Spice, ranked so much higher than Victoria Beckham? Well, there was the little thing about her having shot many (and we mean many) nude photos before joining up with Posh, Baby, Scary, and Sporty.

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40 Keri Russell

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Keri Russell first caught our eye on the short-lived show Malibu Shores in 1996, but it was Felicity Porter from 1998 to 2002 that planted her firmly on our radar. Anyone out there remember what a scene she caused when she cut off her long, curly locks? You’d have thought the world was coming to an end.

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39 Heather Graham

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Heather Graham blew our minds as Mercedes Lane in the 1988 film License to Drive with The Coreys, then she rocked our minds again when she showed us everything she had in the 1997 film Boogie Nights. Seeing her looking like a 1960′s smokeshow in Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me in 1999 was just the icing on the cake for Heather’s epic decade.

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38 Nicole Kidman

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The 90′s were a very good decade for Nicole Kidman. You had the films Days of Thunder in 1990, which led to being married to Tom Cruise from 1990 to 2003, then Malice, To Die For, Batman Forever, and Practical Magic. But the topper, oh yes, the topper was Eyes Wide Shut in 1999. Like I said, it was a very good decade for Nicole Kidman.

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37 Angelina Jolie

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Angelina Jolie barely squeaks onto this list, but anyone who watched Gia in 1998 knows that without that role Angelina Jolie may not have had the career that she ended up having. It truly made her a household name…at least in households with men in them.

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36 Yasmine Bleeth

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Yasmine Bleeth was the hottest teenage star on daytime TV when she appeared on Ryan’s Hope from 1985 to 1989 so she already had our attention when the 1990′s began. Then she moved over to One Life to Live for a couple of years, and wouldn’t you know it, but our dreams came true when she ended up playing Caroline Holden on Baywatch for four years!! Two more years on Nash Bridges from 1998 to 2000 and that was pretty much it for her acting career. We’ll always have the 90′s though.

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35 Tia Carrere

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Tia Carrere was pretty much an unknown when she appeared in the 1992 film Wayne’s World, but by the time Wayne’s World 2 rolled around the next year we were hooked. Unfortunately she didn’t have a lot of success after that until landing a starring role on the TV series Relic Hunter from 1999 to 2002. We were so glad to see her again.

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34 Julia Roberts

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Julia Roberts became America’s Sweetheart in the 1990′s with Steel Magnolias in 1989 and Pretty Woman in 1990. It really was her best decade for making films as at least eight more were big at the box office, closing out with Runaway Bride in 1999.

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33 Natasha Henstridge

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Anyone male who watched Species in 1995 (Natasha Henstridge’s first film, by the way) immediately wished for an alien invasion if the aliens were going to look like Natasha, which of course led to Species II in 1998.

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32 Neve Campbell

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Neve Campbell made it okay for guys to watch Party of Five from 1994 to 2000, but they didn’t have to since Neve also made classic films like The Craft, Scream, Scream 2, and all-time guy fave Wild Things in the decade as well.

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31 Courteney Cox

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If we didn’t already have a bit of a crush on Courteney Cox as Alex P. Keaton’s girlfriend on Family Ties in the late 80′s, we definitely had a crush on Monica Geller for Friends’ six year-run in the 1990′s.

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30 Tatyana Ali

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Tatyana Ali was the best reason for a young man to watch The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air from 1990 to 1996. Sure we liked Will Smith, but we didn’t want to go out on a date with him.

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29 Michelle Pfeiffer

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Four words: Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman. Sure she also made films like One Fine Day, Up Close & Personal, Dangerous Minds, and Frankie and Johnny in the 90′s but she’s the reason we still watch Batman Returns to this day.

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28 Elizabeth Hurley

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Elizabeth Hurley first came to our attention when we saw her on the arm of her then-boyfriend actor Hugh Grant. We were starstruck. Luckily for us she didn’t stay on his arm, but rather decided to do some acting of her own in the first two Austin Powers films and alongside Matthew McConaughey in the film EDtv before the decade was over.

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27 Gillian Anderson

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What male that watched The X-Files for most of the 1990′s didn’t want to hang out with Special Agent Dana Scully? Gillian Anderson was arguably the sexiest redhead of the decade.

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26 Cindy Margolis

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Cindy Margolis was named Yahoo! Internet Life magazine’s “Queen of the Internet” from 1996 to 1999. She even set a Guinness World Record as the “most downloaded” person in the final year of the decade.

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25 Kathy Ireland

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Kathy Ireland was so dominant in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue that she appeared in it for 12 straight years scoring two covers, 1992 and 1994. She even dabbled in acting with a semi-memorable role in the film Necessary Roughness in 1991.

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24 Rena Mero

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Rena Mero, aka Sable, was only with the WWF for three years in the 1990′s, but what years they were as her April 1999 issue of Playboy was one of the highest selling issues in the magazine’s history.

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23 Teri Hatcher

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Teri Hatcher played perhaps the sexiest version of Lois Lane we have ever seen on Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman from 1993 to 1997. Of course, we all also remember her “they’re real and they’re spectacular” line from Seinfeld in 1993 as well. She even played a Bond Girl in Tomorrow Never Dies topping off a huge decade for her.

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22 Jennifer Love Hewitt

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Jennifer Love Hewitt was an even better reason for a guy to watch Party of Five in the 1990′s. Especially after she made I Know What You Did Last Summer and it’s creatively titled sequel I Still Know What You Did Last Summer.

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21 Shania Twain

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Was there a hotter singer in the 1990′s than Shania Twain? And we’re not just talking about album sales, though those were pretty damn good as well with her three albums Come On Over, The Woman in Me, and Shania Twain all selling like crazy.

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20 Carmen Electra

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Anyone remember Carmen Electra on MTV’s Singled Out? How about Loveline? Okay then, how about on Baywatch? Ah, now your memory works just fine, doesn’t it?

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19 Jennifer Aniston

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Did you know Jennifer Aniston made her acting debut in Leprechaun in 1993? Apparently she was good enough in that classic to get her the role as Rachel Green on Friends in 1994. Thank goodness for bad horror flicks.

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18 Demi Moore

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Demi Moore reached her pinnacle in the 1990′s both career-wise as well as physically. Granted we didn’t get to see it in Ghost, but by the time Striptease and G.I. Jane rolled around in 1996 and 1997 there was no doubt that Demi had put in some serious time and money to become one of the biggest sex symbols of the decade.

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17 Anna Nicole Smith

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Anna Nicole Smith, before all her craziness with her TV show and marrying the near-death oil mogul J. Howard Marshall, was one of the sexiest women on the planet. She was the 1993 Playboy Playmate of the Year and appeared in some of the sexiest print ads ever made for Guess jeans.

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16 Gina Gershon

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We were shocked to see Elizabeth Berkley in the 1995 cult classic Showgirls, but it was Gina Gershon who stole the show in the film. It still to this day is the film she is most remembered for despite appearing in more than 30 since.

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15 Nicole Eggert

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Nicole Eggert image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Back in the day there was no chance that any male in his teens was going to miss an episode of Charles in Charge in the late 1980′s and that was simply because of Jamie Powell aka Nicole Eggert. It was with unbridled joy that we watched as Nicole made the move two years later to Baywatch playing Summer Quinn for three wonderful seasons.

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14 Janet Jackson

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Janet Jackson image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Janet Jackson’s Rhythm Nation 1814 in 1989 set the scene for what was going to be a very good decade for Michael Jackson’s little sis. Of course we already had a crush on her from her roles on Diff’rent Strokes and Fame in the 80′s. Seeing her all grown up and killing it the way she was, how could we not be enamored?

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13 Alicia Silverstone

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Alicia Silverstone image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Alicia Silverstone (along with the aforementioned Liv Tyler) blew us away with her appearance in the 1993 music video for the Aerosmith song “Crazy,” but that was only due to the fact that in her movie debut The Crush in 1993 she played one of the sexiest Lolita characters ever to appear on film. After playing Cher Horowitz in Clueless in 1995 and Batgirl in Batman & Robin in 1997 her place in our collective memories was carved in stone.

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12 Heather Locklear

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Heather Locklear image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Heather Locklear already had a pretty good decade in the 80′s with her role on Dynasty, but it was her portrayal of Amanda Woodward on Melrose Place from 1993 to 1999 that introduced her to a whole new set of young males who suddenly found themselves as fans of primetime soap operas.

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11 Cindy Crawford

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Cindy Crawford image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Like Heather Locklear, Cindy Crawford also had a pretty good decade in the 1980′s, but it was in the 1990′s that she truly became a household name due in no small part to this Pepsi commercial. She even made us almost care about fashion when she hosted MTV’s House of Style from 1989 to 1995 and definitely made us care about Playboy when she posed in her second pictorial for the magazine in 1998.

Photo credit: Cindy Crawford image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

10 Sharon Stone

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Sharon Stone image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Sharon Stone could have stopped making movies after her appearance in the 1992 film Basic Instinct and we’d still remember her fondly to this day.

Photo credit: Sharon Stone image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

9 Denise Richards

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Denise Richards image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

The same goes for Denise Richards after her appearance in the 1998 film Wild Things. Though Starship Troopers in 1997 and her appearance as Russell Dalrymple’s daughter on Seinfeld in 1993 were also pretty good.

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8 Claudia Schiffer

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Claudia Schiffer image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Remember those super hot Guess? Jeans ads that we mentioned in Victoria Silvstedt, Laetitia Casta, Anna Nicole Smith’s profiles? Claudia Schiffer was the one who made them famous first.

Photo credit: Claudia Schiffer image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

7 Lucy Lawless

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Three words: Xena: Warrior Princess.

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6 Elle Macpherson

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Elle Macpherson image by Helga Esteb/Shutterstock

The only person who had our attention more than Kathy Ireland when it came to the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue was Elle Macpherson who graced a record five covers including one in 1994, which was also the year she made the hot film Sirens and appeared in one of the greatest issues of Playboy ever published.

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5 Pamela Anderson

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Pamela Anderson in the 1990′s: Playboy, Home Improvement Tool Time Girl, Baywatch, Barb Wire, and finally Pam & Tommy Lee: Stolen Honeymoon. That’s a full decade right there.

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4 Jenny McCarthy

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Jenny McCarthy image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Jenny McCarthy was the 1993 Playboy Playmate of the Year, which, along with her wacky personality, led to being the host of the MTV game show Singled Out in 1995, which led to her own sitcom on NBC, Jenny, in 1997. How she never appeared on Baywatch is still a mystery to this day.

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3 Alyssa Milano

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Alyssa Milano image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Alyssa Milano came of age as Who’s the Boss? completed its run in 1992 and wowed males everywhere when she showed a whole lot of skin in the 1995 film Embrace of the Vampire and the 1996 flick Poison Ivy II: Lily. A two-year run on Melrose Place followed up by a starring role on Charmed and there were very few women we crushed on more than Alyssa Milano in the 1990′s.

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2 Christina Applegate

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Christina Applegate image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

The second Kelly of the 1990′s Kelly Triumvirate of Hotness, Christina Applegate, aka Kelly Bundy, ruled the hearts of men like few others until 1997 when Married… with Children finally ended its run. Luckily we didn’t have to wait long to see her again as she also starred in her own sitcom on NBC, Jesse, from 1998 to 2000.

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1 Tiffani Thiessen

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Tiffani Thiessen image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

The number one Kelly in the 1990′s Kelly Triumvirate of Hotness was none other than Kelly Kapowski, known then as Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, of Saved by the Bell and Saved by the Bell: The College Years. But she didn’t stop there as when those shows ended in 1994 she immediately jumped onto Beverly Hills, 90210 as Valerie Malone from 1994 to 1998 to continue her dominance as arguably the most crushed on woman of the entire decade.

Photo credit: Tiffani Thiessen image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Other Lists You May Enjoy

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The 100 sexiest actresses under the age of 30


50 women we want to see more of in 2013


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50 women to watch in 2013


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The 40 sexiest Kate Upton videos on the Web


The 50 sexiest videos of 2012


50 women we’re thankful for in 2012

Who has the best boobs in Hollywood? How about the prettiest eyes, tightest abs, sexiest smile or most alluring curves? Here are a few suggestions. In its first annual “Hollywood’s Hottest Bodies Poll,” the first and most extensive survey of its kind, Hollyscoop has determined the best-looking body parts and facial features of various celebrities from an online poll of nearly 1200 voters.

In other words, if you took all of these physical attributes and melded them together you would have the sexiest woman in the world…in theory. Click on to see the winners in each of the really important categories. (If you are feeling really enterprising, please do to try to Photoshop them all together into one woman and drop me an email with the results.)

See who the other contenders that came up just short in each category were here.

Photo credit: Megan Fox image by s_bukley/Shutterstock

Best Legs & Arms: Jennifer Aniston

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Jennifer Aniston image by Helga Esteb/Shutterstock

Photo credit: Jennifer Aniston image by Helga Esteb/Shutterstock

Best Female Abs: Gwen Stefani

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Gwen Stefani image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Photo credit: Gwen Stefani image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Best Curves & Hair: Sofia Vergara

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Sofia Vergara image by Helga Esteb/Shutterstock

Photo credit: Sofia Vergara image by Helga Esteb/Shutterstock

Best Boobs: Jennifer Love Hewitt

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Jennifer Love Hewitt image by s_bukley/Shutterstock

Photo credit: Jennifer Love Hewitt image by s_bukley/Shutterstock

Best Booty: Jennifer Lopez

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Jennifer Lopez image by Helga Esteb/Shutterstock

Photo credit: Jennifer Lopez image by Helga Esteb/Shutterstock

Best Smile: Kate Middleton

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Kate Middleton image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Photo credit: Kate Middleton image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

Best Nose: Scarlett Johansson

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Scarlett Johansson image by DFree/Shutterstock

Photo credit: Scarlett Johansson image by DFree/Shutterstock

Best Eyes: Zooey Deschanel

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Zooey Deschanel image by s_bukley/Shutterstock

Photo credit: Zooey Deschanel image by s_bukley/Shutterstock

Best Cheekbones: Angelina Jolie

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Angelina Jolie image by DFree/Shutterstock

Photo credit: Angelina Jolie image by DFree/Shutterstock

Best Jawline: Victoria Beckham

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Victoria Beckham image by s_bukley/Shutterstock

Photo credit: Victoria Beckham image by s_bukley/Shutterstock

Best Eyebrows: Megan Fox

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Megan Fox image by Helga Esteb/Shutterstock

Photo credit: Megan Fox image by Helga Esteb/Shutterstock

Ever wonder how your favorite celebs drop weight for movie roles? Wanna know how much gym time they put in for killer abs? Well, many of them resort to workouts and diets that are just plain disgusting. Here are some of the craziest.

25 Marilyn Monroe, raw eggs in milk

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Everyone’s favorite sex symbol had a breakfast ritual that included milk with two raw eggs. She later died of salmonella. I maybe made that up.

24 Megan Fox, Apple Cider Vinegar

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If apple cider vinegar gives you breasts like that, then we should secretly inject it into tampons and pads.

23 Adriana Lima, protein shake bonanza

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Adriana Lima Image by Anton Oparin/Shutterstock

Before a Victoria’s Secret show, Adriana Lima rids herself of all solid food in favor of protein shakes. That’s it. Nothing except vitamins and protein. Bet her farts smell like roses.

22 Kate Beckinsale, yoga master

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To prepare for her role in Underworld Awakening, Kate Beckinsale worked out 7 days a week. And she did a lot of yoga. And here is a GIF of her bending over.

21 Mariah Carey, bleak diet

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Mariah keeps her voluptuous figure by eating foods with no salt, spices or sugar. That’s a crappy way to go about life. I’d rather be fat and ugly. Snooki, care to weigh in here?

205 Mel B, workout sex

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Mel B once told George Lopez that she keeps in shape by having sex five times a day. This should be the workout for everyone, everywhere. Except kids and virgins.

19 Gwyneth Paltrow, two liters of water a day

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Hey you guys, remember when that one publication named Gwyneth Paltrow the most beautiful woman in the world. Yea, that was funny. Perhaps she reached the pinnacle of beauty because she drinks two liters of water a day? Or because she only eats quinoa. Who knows. Gwyneth is so much smarter than the rest of us so we should bow to her infinite wisdom.

18 Elizabeth Hurley, watercress soup diet

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You know how they say milk does a body good. Well, watercress does breasts good. Just ask Elizabeth Hurley who swears by a vitamin rich soup packed with watercress, onions and this sounds gross already.

17 Demi Moore-raw food diet

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Whatever Demi Moore’s doing seems to work. If that means eating raw foods with a healthy side of botox, so be it. Botulism never hurt anyone.

16 Jennifer Aniston, baby food diet

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To prepare for her role in Just Go With It, Aniston ate 14 portions of pureed baby food a day…and I just threw up in my mouth.

15 Renee Zellweger, ice cube diet

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Renne Zellweger keeps her figure by getting drunk and chewing on ice cubes. It gives her the sensation of eating without actually eating. Judging from this GIF, she also does drugs. Lots of them. But that’s a whole other diet.

14 Beyonce, colonic irrigation

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IMGUR

Colonic irrigation involves fluid sent into your anus, also referred to as Friday night by the looser ladies.

13 Nicole Kidman, hard boiled egg diet

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When Kidman wants to shed some weight she goes with one egg for breakfast, one for lunch and two for dinner. If she’s feeling extra spicy that day she’ll add another egg. What’s that? Somebody farted. No, that’s just Nicole’s breath.

12 Jennifer Lopez, grapefruit diet

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CBS

To curb her appetite, J-Lo sniffs grapefruit extract. Jenny from the block would not approve of this diva shit.

11 Christian Bale, tuna and an apple

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Guyism Composite

Tuna and apples go together like peanut butter and jelly, amirite? Bale used the combo for 3 straight months to drop weight. And “I’m Batman.”

10 Kim Catrall, fish 3 times a day

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Kim Catrall of Sex and the City fame eats fish 3 times a day. It’s a natural way to give yourself a facelift. This is just another reminder that people in Hollywood are stupid.

9 Sarah Michelle Gellar, cabbage soup

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You know what’s disgusting? The cabbage soup diet. You know what’s not disgusting? Sarah Michelle Gellar. I’m torn here.

8 Christina Aguilera, 7 day color diet

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7 days, 7 colors—white, red, green, orange purple, yellow and then you mix all of them together on that last day and I can’t believe people adhere to this shit. But hey, nice moves Christina.

7 Natalie Portman, Black Swan workout

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Natalie Portman worked out 5-8 hours a day for an entire year to prepare for Black Swan. She’s also a vegan. She’s also the perfect woman but I digress.

6 Jake Gyllenhaal, parkour

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Gyllenhaal went through a grueling parkour boot camp for his role in Prince of Persia. Parkour is basically walking and jumping in extreme fashion. Fat camp sounds more fun.

5 Anne Hathaway, dried oatmeal paste

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NBC

To make herself look deathly anorexic in Les Miserables, Anne Hathaway ate two thin squares of dried oatmeal paste a day. I don’t know what oatmeal paste is and frankly, I’m not sure I want to.

4 January Jones, placenta diet

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YouTube/AMC

Nope, not even gonna explain this one. I heard the story of Tom Cruise eating placenta and I’ve yet to recover.

3 Steve Harvey, 21 pounds in 21 days

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CBS

Steve Harvey’s 21 pounds in 21 days is a fancy way of saying he used a juicing diet. Fruit and veggies that is, not steroids. Though I believe the latter would also give you results.

2 Victoria Beckham, facial yoga

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Victoria Beckham was notorious for telling the Spice Girls what to eat and how much to work out. She recently added facial yoga to her repertoire. Facial yoga is something a crazy lady made up because her face broke into a sweat yelling at her husband. I didn’t make that up. That’s fact. Look it up.

1 Gerard Butler, 300 workout

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I’m simply going to post this and then pass out: “Butler performs 25 pullups, 50 deadlifts with 135 pounds, 50 pushups, 50 jumps on a 24-inch box, 50 floor wipers (*3), 50 single-arm clean-and-presses using a 36-pound kettle bell, and 25 more pullups.”

The We’re the Millers trailer features Jennifer Aniston giving a lap dance and stripping. Do you really even need to know what the movie is about?

The plot of We’re the Millers is actually a fairly tired one. How many times do we need to see regular people forced to smuggle drugs across the border. That’s probably why director Rawson Marshall Thurber made Jennifer Aniston a cheap stripper. Nothing sells tickets like a 44-year-old stripper. I can see why Jason Sudeikis is leaving SNL. He’ll definitely bring the laughs to We’re the Millers, as will Ed Helms, who plays a less intense Les Grossman.

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Jennifer Aniston does not get naked in We’re the Millers. I repeat, Jennifer Aniston does not get naked in We’re the Millers. That’s important because Aniston’s people are always lying about her nude scenes. This according to an angry email I got last week asking for a boycott.

Hollywood Game Night @ 10pm, NBC: Ashamed to admit I enjoy this show.

Conan @ 11pm, TBS: Jennifer Aniston is Conan’s guest tonight and she’ll probably lie about getting naked in her new movie. Because that’s what she does. What a cock tease.

Hatfields & McCoys: White Lightning: Muscle Cars @ 10:30pm, History: So there’s no fights on this show? No shooting people over pigs? Dammit. You tricked me!

Bengals-Falcons @ 8pm, ESPN: I don’t care that’s it’s preseason football. It’s football and I’m bored.

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Ruby Films

This week’s Guyism Quiz is derriere inspired. We’ll give you a screencap from a movie and you have to guess the actress and what film it’s from. Scroll to the next slide for your answer. Good luck! (They get progressively harder)

10

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Bad Robot Productions

Rachel McAdams-Morning Glory

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YouTube

9

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Class 5 Films

Gwyneth Paltrow- Thanks for Sharing

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Self

8

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Stuber Pictures

Natalie Portman – Your Highness

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YouTube/Dior

7

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Lightstorm Entertainment

Jamie Lee Curtis – True Lies

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6

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Castle Rock Entertainment

Demi Moore – Striptease

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Demi Moore image by s_bukley/Shutterstock

5

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MGM

Goldie Hawn – Overboard

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Shutter/JS Photography

4

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Hollywood Pictures

Loryn Locklin – Taking Care of Business

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IMGUR

3

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Jersey Films

Jennifer Aniston – Along Came Polly

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Jennifer Aniston image by Featureflash/Shutterstock

2

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Village Roadshow

Jessica Simpson – Dukes of Hazzard

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Jessica Simpson image by s_bukley/Shutterstock

1

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Mandalay Pictures

Jessica Alba – Into the Blue

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Jessica Alba image by Jaguar PS/Shutterstock