People
I bet you’re shocked that a man as ugly as Bradley Cooper could be named the sexiest anything let alone The Sexiest Man Alive, right? (That rustling noise you hear is the sound of my eyes rolling so hard in my head it’s actually audible.) Anyway, People magazine rolled the dice and named Mr. Cooper their sexiest man for 2011 and he had some hilarious things to say about it.
“I think it’s really cool that a guy who doesn’t look like a model can have this [title],” says the Hangover actor, 36. “I think I’m a decent-looking guy. Sometimes I can look great, and other times I look horrifying.”
……………. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Doesn’t look like a model…. HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Phew!!! Sorry… but is he fucking kidding me? I want to have sex with this guy and I am as heterosexual as they come. He speaks fluent French for christ sakes.
Bradley does go on to point out that he isn’t much of a player with the ladies despite his looks, and THAT I can actually buy because the list of women he’s been tied to in the last couple of years leaves something to be desired: Renee Zellweger, Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Aniston, and Olivia Wilde. Okay, that last one was okay, but dude, you’re the SEXIEST MAN ALIVE. Go get you some Minka Kelly, some Blake Lively, some Scarlett Johansson, something. Use that title. Go.